Puns For Everywhere in Europe
These are the best puns for Europe on the internet. Please note these are Adult puns and I am not responsible for people with no sense of humor. Turn away now, this is your last chance! These are dirty jokes.
Before I get to the puns, because most will read and just leave ( how rude!) I want to give a reason get to know me. I am the Funny Backpacker and I have a lot of different puns and travel-related articles so make sure you check me out at the end.
General European Puns
I think the euro is shit but I would love to hear your 2 cent
What did the British executioner say when he was put on trial for crimes against the Continent? “Europe or mine?”
Albania Puns
Don’t shit talk Europe in the comments or Albania
Andorra Puns
I went on a skiing holiday the hotel had nice windows Andorra
Austria Puns
How to tell the difference between Australia and Austria: Australia has the best ice cream but Austria has Vienna
Belarus Puns
Want to go to Belarus but plane tickets cost a Minsk
Belgium Puns
My farts stink after visiting Belgium, I Blame Brussels
Bosnia and Herzegovina Puns
I think I caught a Sti in Bosnia Its called Herzegovina
Bulgaria Puns
Never let Sofia wax your balls you end up with a Bulgaria
Croatia Puns
Croatia me a Jumper
Cyprus Puns
Don’t find your girl in Cyprus as Nicosia
Czechia Puns
When packing for Prague make sure you Czech you have enough condoms
Denmark Puns
Going to fuck dave, Denmark
Estonia Puns
When fucking in Estonia make sure you throw a Tallinn
My brother punched me in Estonia I’m totally Tallinn
Finland Puns
This place is shit no dolphins or sharks last time to Finland
France Puns
Brought a girl home last night me and my boy did the Eiffel tower
Saw some streaking down the streets in Paris, I got a right Eiffel
Georgia Puns
Met a girl called Georgia loves vampire sex … it’s pretty Gori
Germany Puns
- Do you like my new Cologne?
- Fancy a Hamburg(er)?
- When In Germany use your common cents
- I love German nursery Rhines
- I’m into committed Relationships, You could say I’m love locked (bridge)
- The weather might be cold, But I’m Berlin hot
- Puns about German food are the wrust
- Met this guy, he was a total Deutschbag
- Sorry to be Frankfurt, you’re a right bitch
- She loves the sausage but dislikes frankfurters
- I love Bratwurst in Curry sauce But my wife likes sausage in cider
- My ComMunich Skills are Scheisse
- But do you want to see my Fort-sir?
- How many times do you want anal sex tonight? Nein! I’ll probably only make 7
- My trip to Germany gave me lots of dirty Fotze
- Hygiene is important you don’t want to catch any Ger-mans
Greece Puns
Never go in dry with a girl from Athens, make sure you Greece it first
Hungary Puns
A girl from Budapest bite my nob, She was Hungary
Iceland Puns
Wanking is agaianst law in Iceland… In fact, it’s banned in Tesco too
Ireland Puns
- Irish, I was Irish.
- Wouldn’t swim in the river it looks a little bit Liffey
- UK? Not quite
- When in Ireland use your common Cents
- Guinness your money!
- Nights out in the Temple Bar can be Oscar Wilde
- Most Irish thing since brown bread
- Some of these puns are leprechaun’ny
- I really love Gaelic bread
- Hey Penny
- I Spire to be in Dublin
- Walk Galway from me Bay, You don’t want to get hurt.
- Are you from Ireland? Because when I look at you my penis is Dublin
- These cliffs always have people on top of them, Just like your Moher
- Galway Hookers are great fun
- Cork It!
- Irish Love their folking music.
- U2 are twats
- I love to have a piss the Gal-way
- Waking up in the hostel, the last thing you want to see is the Ring of Kerry
- Sorry it went over your face, it came out my Belfast
- Fuck her hard, Really Claddagh Ring
Italy Puns
My Italy girlfriend is on the larger size, can’t get anything pasta
Kosovo Puns
Priss-tina loves Cock
Latvia Puns
Shes got a nice Latvia
Liechtenstein Puns
Not saying everyone from Lichtenstein are chubby chasers but they love Vaduz
Lithuania Puns
Not saying I’m kinky but love a Lithuania battery up to my arse
Luxembourg Puns
Not saying Luxembourg city is best but they named the whole country after it.
Malta Puns
Not saying I got a lot of pubes in my mouth but she really is a Malta
Moldova Puns
I No I sucked you off but can I Chisinau
Monaco Puns
Not sure who to fuck, Monte or Carlo
Montenegro Puns
Thats a nice Kotor you have there
Netherlands Puns
Bitches everywhere, i’m in Ho-land
North Macedonia (formerly Macedonia) Puns
I’m a Mace-donia of orgasms
Norway Puns
Met a girl from Oslo asked to stick in her arse and she said “Norway!”
Poland Puns
These puns could do with a bit of polish
Portugal Puns
Let’s just say if I had a USB for a dick I would Portugal
Romania Puns
The from Transylvania know more than how to suck blood
Russia Puns
I don’t mean to Russia but my wife will be home in ten minutes
San Marino Puns
You have 3 options in San Mariano: Monte, Tit, or Ano.
Serbia Puns
They have a weird tradition in Serbia they Belgrade, Mines a 5
Slovakia Puns
Hate driving around Bratislava in a Slow-Arse-Kia
Slovenia Puns
Shes Ljubljana, But most just no her as anna
Spain Pun
What time Spain do you recommend to travel to Madrid
Sweden Puns
Got kidnapped in Sweden now have Stockholm syndrome
Switzerland Puns
Alp me, I’m stuck on a mountain
Turkey Puns
The girls in Turkey are fowl
Ukraine Puns
Do you even Ukraine Bro?
United Kingdom (UK) Puns
- Don’t be a queen
- Dam girl you Es-Sexxy
- Sad day at the church they had to Bury St Edmunds
- You have really Lon-done it now
- Let me run you a Bath
- That fire is going out Stoke it
- Put your hand’s ups I have a Bristol
- U K mate?
- Jenny don’t be Hastings
- Is that a New-Castle? or just old like the rest of the buildings here
- Margate is stuck
- Don’t mess with my Crewe
- England is full of thieving bastards all them are Luton
- I hate England it’s a right shit Hull
- I was Thames-ted to drop kick that toddler but I Didn’t
- Can I play with your South-end?
- Today has been shit, why did I leave my Bedford?
- Why do you need a Bedford, Fuck me in the shower
- That cock is really big Ben
- After chopping up 20 bodies it was a right Liver-pool
- Man-Chester that was a good fuck
- Ply-My-Mouth hard
- You up for a 3som, Milton is Keynes
- Do you just want to kiss? Nor-lets-folk
- Shit! What was Stevens-age
Vatican City (Holy See) Puns
I think I might have to Pope to the Vatican City